never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize