There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
