I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
did you just send me my own nude
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
