He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
