no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
