fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
