i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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