Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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