Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
