you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
