I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
