pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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