and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
