does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
