Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
