I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Still dying that you shit outside
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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