he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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