I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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