Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
