I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
