There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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