really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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