best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
