i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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