O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
