Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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