Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
