I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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