5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
