Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
