I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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