how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
