They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize