i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
