Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
