if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
how drunk are you?
Several
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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