Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
