The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
