Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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