The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
