No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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