Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.