Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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(512): View more from Texas

I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?

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(347): View more from New York

just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

(303): View more from Colorado

Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just feel like everything is too perfect

(774): View more from Massachusetts

He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Or both. Which is common

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(305): View more from Florida

Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.

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(703): View more from Virginia

If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude

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