Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Food network will be on but we won't be watching

(1-248): View more from Michigan

O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

Fav 2 1292 669
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.

Fav 53 4698 974
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

Fav 43 9783 1007
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

Fav 15 1479 5144
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

Fav 17 5924 1647
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

Fav 7 3089 1401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

Fav 9 3561 1279
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.

Fav 1 313 174
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up

Fav 0 25 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT