you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Drunk is not a location!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who died my cat blue again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize