he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.