Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (2929) Bad night (774)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30994) Bad night (1438)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..

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  (314): Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was. (314): Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night.. http://tfl.nu/wswl
  Replies (74) Good night (1430) Bad night (6335)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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  (785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4
  Replies (25) Good night (3212) Bad night (891)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"

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  (281): Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring? (281): Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later" http://tfl.nu/iga6
  Replies (24) Good night (1379) Bad night (4302)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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  (404): yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you" http://tfl.nu/otku
  Replies (11) Good night (3499) Bad night (726)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.

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  (616): those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them. http://tfl.nu/w7ab
  Replies (11) Good night (5383) Bad night (1004)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

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  (775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4
  Replies (20) Good night (1083) Bad night (7529)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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  (541): I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums. http://tfl.nu/gqon
  Replies (6) Good night (3096) Bad night (887)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago

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  (602): Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago http://tfl.nu/ycpd
  Replies (4) Good night (1981) Bad night (693)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog

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  (646): How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog http://tfl.nu/iwbb
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (2085)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

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  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (380)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're going to party like we don't have spanx on

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  (517): We're going to party like we don't have spanx on http://tfl.nu/7l0f
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (447)
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

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  (+34): Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/s4tk
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (207)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I need a genital shamwow being this wet.

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  (301): I need a genital shamwow being this wet. http://tfl.nu/u5kj
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (190)

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