two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
