Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize