matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
