I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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