I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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