you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
The ass gains better be worth it
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