I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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