why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
