I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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