glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
