im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
