DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
