How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
