This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Randomize
