Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
