We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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