I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
