They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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