his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
