your thong is hanging out like whoa
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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