What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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