I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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