You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
