I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
