so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
