Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
