make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
