I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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