The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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