They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
